Washington, D.C. - In the latest campaign shakeup, John Kerry has selected Elmo as his new campaign spokesman. "I believe that W stands for wrong," said the candidate. "No one can help me communicate this message better that experienced letter bearer, Elmo. His universal appeal has been obvious since the great dancing Elmo craze of just a few years ago."
Elmo, whose partisan leaning were previously unknown, had this to say about his support for John Kerry. "Elmo reached up high and shout. He done it by himself. And Elmo wants to say. He's feeling pride here." It was unknown if Elmo was feeling pride in himself, or Kerry as a candidate.
Elmo, though, went on to say, "It's incredible where you can go, in your imagination. Hitch a ride on a cloud, and go sailing off into the blue. Ask the high flying birdies, to come with you, on your vacation, there's a rainbow of beautiful colors. Waiting for you, wheee!"
Kerry Campaign Chair, Mary Beth Cahill, clarified Elmo's comments. "Elmo is clearly getting our positive message out. Like a high-flying birdie, the Kerry campaign is going on to victory in this election so all Americans can experience the rainbow of beautiful colors in a Kerry administration.
Dem VP Candidate Miffed
A close John Edwards associate has privately expressed the Democratic VP candidate’s dissatisfaction at the selection of Elmo as a campaign spokesmen. "Edwards was supposed to be the cute, fuzzy one with the positive message. And John can handle talking about more than one letter a week, unlike Elmo. He has been working on this great D is for Dick riff that will put Cheney in his place." The Edwards confidant admits, "Now, John is not sure what his role in the campaign is supposed to be."
Yet another attempt by Kerry to infantilize his constituency. Classic stuff, Blindpig--searing and quite clever as well! I salute your sardonic touch.
When dealing with the Kerry campaign "W" actually stands for "weak" and/or "warped".
Posted by: Contrarian | September 08, 2004 at 04:53
W A R ... brought to you by the letter "W"
Posted by: Matt | October 14, 2004 at 02:04
I’ve never any pity for conceited people, because I think they carry their comfort about with them
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